What Happened!
by 2000ale
Summary: Avengers take on The Hangover. Not a straight-out copy, but are similar. Think of it as an Avengers parody of The Hangover. Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers or The Hangover.


What Happened?

Steve opened his eyes slowly, afraid of what he'd see. Sure enough, he didn't like what he saw. Steve looked around, afraid when he couldn't see the ground. Then he looked down. He let out a girlish scream and started hyperventilating. It was about 50 or so feet below. Apparently, he was in a tree. Steve wracked his brain, trying to remember what exactly happened last night. He started to remember a little of it.

Flashback

"Come on Steve, it'll be fun," Tony whined, in typical Tony Stark fashion, "besides, you can't get drunk, you said it yourself. You can be our designated Avenger. And anyway, we should be celebrating, Thor's getting married!"

Steve frowned, since Tony had a point.

"But…" argued Steve.

"No buts, you're going," Tony said with a pretended air of finality.

Steve sighed, but didn't continue to argue.

And that's how Steve ended up in a car packed with Avengers on their way to the bar where they would be celebrating.

When they got there, Tony immediately ordered a round of whiskey shots for the superhero team.

"I just have to say, I'm not one for sappy speeches and all but I just have to say, Thor, buddy, I'm happy for you," Tony continued, "Pepper is my everything, and I don't know what I'd do without her, so I know what it feels like to love someone enough that you can actually picture spending the rest of your life with them."

Tony raised his glass grinning, "A toast, to Thor's last night as a free man."

They each rose their glasses, drank, and the night began.

Flashback Ends

After that, things for Steve began to get fuzzy.

Anyway, Steve began to formulate a plan to get out of the tree he was in. He very well knew he couldn't just jump without getting injured. Luckily, the tree Steve was in had little to no branches below him, so he decided to slide down the tree like a fireman's pole. Steve's plan was a success and he started to walk away when suddenly he heard a low moan emit from a nearby bush. Slowly tiptoeing over to investigate, Steve found a semi-conscious and very hung-over Loki bound in ropes. Steve walked over to Loki and softly shook him. Loki's eyes snapped open and he immediately began struggling against the ropes, but to no avail, as they appeared to have been enchanted. Steve grabbed him and shook him, although he was still slightly confused as to what he was doing here.

"Loki! What are you doing here?!" Steve interrogated, jumping into action.

"Your little band of mortals and my oaf of a brother kidnapped me from my prison cell in Asgard!" Loki replied. "Asgard is still recovering. And then you bound me in these enchanted ropes and force me to teleport you all to Jotunheim!"

"What!" Steve yelled.

"And then…" Loki trailed off as he tried to remember what happened in Jotunheim, but was unable to as he was heavily intoxicated as well when he teleported them there due to the fact they forced him to drink Asgardian mead until he started to forget what had happened before, during, and after their battle as a precaution should he try to escape. Eventually, he became so drunk he was barely able to stand up. Anyway, Loki tried, but he was unable to remember what happened in Jotunheim.

"Get up, I've got to find the others and hand you over to Thor," Steve ordered.

Loki shook his head but got up anyway.

They walked for a while until they made it to the tower. There they found Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha. And, of course, as soon as Clint and Natasha saw Loki, they immediately tried to kill him. After talking them down, Steve told the group what Loki had told him.

"Where's Tony?" Steve asked.

"We don't know," Bruce answered for the group.

"This is a disaster!" yelled Steve uncharacteristically. "Thor's getting married in a couple hours and we have absolutely no idea where he is!"

Steve turned to Loki.

"Can you help us find and possibly rescue Thor?" asked Steve.

"I want a full pardon for my crimes against Midgard," Loki replied.

Steve shook his head.

"We'll buy you a year's supply of poptarts," Steve countered.

"Make them Cookies and Cream and it's a deal," Loki said.

"Deal," Steve retorted and removed Loki's binds before they shook on it.

Loki immediately murmured a few unintelligible words in a strange language and a window opened showing an unconscious Thor chained in the middle of a gigantic throne room, and resting on the huge throne was must have been what Thor described as a frost giant.

At the sight of the frost giant Loki visibly paled as his jaw dropped.

"But… I killed him," Loki whispered, wearing a shocked and horrified expression.

"Why am I not surprised?" Clint affronted.

Loki was too shocked to either respond or notice.

"Who is he?" Steve asked.

"He's my father," Loki responded.

Tony waited until he felt the proper amount of time had passed in awkward silence to respond.

"Um, in case you haven't noticed, he's a giant, blue, red-eyed ice monster and you're-" Tony didn't get a chance to finish what he was saying when Loki began to turn blue, growing slightly taller while his eyes darkened to a shocking crimson. "Oh."

"I'm a shape shifter," Loki stated pretentiously, "I thought you were a genius, Stark."

"Fascinating," Bruce said, sounding intrigued. "Would you mind if I ran a few tests of you in this form?"

Bruce continued poking and prodding Loki for a few more seconds until Loki pushed him away.

"Yes, I would mind actually," Loki answered.

"Say, how come we became drunk so fast?" interjected Tony randomly. "I mean we were drunk, all of us, even Steve and Thor."

Almost immediately, Loki looked away, trying to look innocent. Bruce, however, caught his act.

"Is there something you would like to share with the group _Loki?_" interrogated Bruce. "Or would you rather share it with the other guy?"

At that last part, Loki visibly paled.

"I heard Thor was getting married, so I devised the ultimate prank," responded Loki deviously. "After all, they do not call me the trickster god for naught."

"I snuck out to Midguard and spiked your drinks with a magical compound from Asgard that's side effects are among memory loss, accelerated intoxication, and eventually, unconsciousness," continued Loki. "Asgardians often use it at bachelor parties to give the drinks an extra, as you mortals say, 'kick.' It can also be transmitted by saliva, so therefore, as I am experiencing the same symptoms as the rest of you, I can deduce that I most likely kissed one of you."

Immediately after hearing that, everyone wiped their mouths and pretended they had never heard the last part.

"Well, that explains a lot." Tony blurted.

Clint tilted his head to glare at Tony incredulously.

"Gee, you think?" hissed Clint sarcastically.

"Hey, It's not my fault you have a birdbrain," Tony hissed back.

As Clint was about to respond with a biting comeback, Steve interrupted.

"Alright, that's enough!" shouted Steve, almost immediately silencing their arguing.

"So anyway, back to the problem of the present," interjected Tony. "How the heck are we going to get to Jotunheim?"

"We can get Loki to teleport us there," responded Steve.

Loki shook his head.

"I still quite drained from last night," retorted Loki, "I will only be able to transport myself and three others.

Everyone settled into worried silence. Steve spoke up first.

"I think that Loki, Bruce, Tony, and I should go to Jotunheim while Clint and Natasha stay here to hold down the fort and explain what happened to Colonel Fury."

Clint and Natasha groaned, but otherwise didn't complain. They were spies after all, and spies don't complain.


End file.
